October 2024 Update
When I do count the clock that tells the time
And see the brave day sunk in hideous night,
When I behold the violet past prime
And sable curls all silvered o’er with white;
When lofty trees I see barren of leaves,
Which erst from heat did canopy the herd,
And summer’s green all girded up in sheaves
Borne on the bier with white and bristly beard;
Then of thy beauty do I question make
That thou among the wastes of time must go,
Since sweets and beauties do themselves forsake
And die as fast as they see others grow;
And nothing ’gainst Time’s scythe can make defense
Save breed, to brave him when he takes thee hence.
— Shakespeare's Sonnet 12
Fall comes and reminds us that we all must face decay, and that there is beauty in it. Since decay in the circle of life means renewal. And yet, in spite of Nature's constant reminders we continue, seemingly, to dally with the easy pleasures of notifications and new pieces of plastic, glass, and metal delivered weekly to our porches. What would archaeologists think of all these rectangular mirrors we gaze at constantly? Does it matter?
Well, as a writer, fall is a great season for melancholy inspiration and ruminations on the meaning or unmeaning of life. September bewildered me, since it was back to school month, and I didn't transition to old-new habits and duties as well as I would have hoped. I felt constantly tired, and I still am as I write this. Here is to letting those bad habits die and rot, so I can grow new ones. I offer my cider mug to you as a virtual toast.
## Writing
I kept in contact with the story, but I think I've been using my world-building deficiencies as an excuse not to push through to the end. Steinbeck said a writer should just push through, and I think he is right, I can always change it later. And while there are times where world-building really is necessary, for me it has always been secondary to my story, and I think I have done enough for now. So here's to pushing through.
## Music
I sang in front of a lot of people for the first time in a while. And while it was an incredibly small step, it was a step, and even though I've done it before with arguably more pressure, I was still very nervous. It is amazing how good I am at overthinking, and how much my pride makes a big deal out of my performances. Anyway, I really do need to work on the album. I want to get all the Lit Song demos recorded/re-recorded. And hopefully jam with some friends too.
## Reading
I finished Devils by Dostoevsky and man, I knew the ending was coming, but it still murdered me. He is probably the boldest writer I have ever read, nothing like us modern cowards. His characters are so grotesque and his plots are so non-existent, but one doesn't question the design quality of the whirlpool as it sucks one in. This is a book that could change your life if you let it, just ask Camus.
Oh yes, I also finished Middlemarch earlier in the month and I wasn't happy with the ending, but I was fine with that. So real were Eliot's characters that I wasn't really mad at George Eliot, I was just mad at Dorothea the same way I would be mad at a friend or family member for marrying someone I don't like. It is the sort of thing that happens all the time, but we are too polite so we don't say anything about it and just think: “They deserve better.” But it is a fact of life, and if anything, Middlemarch made me more thankful for my wife. In spite of the fact that in our modern society we have more freedom to choose our spouse, there is no changing that people change over the years, and sometimes they don't change; we just get to know them better until we can see everything the world doesn't. And Good God how I lucked out.
Listening
Saw a 21 Pilots concert. They are really the only band that puts on a show that I think is worth the admission price and the cost. I don't think there have been music shows with as much depth and concept and storytelling and production since The Wall. I am not really a concert goer, though, so there's probably some other bands I haven't heard of. But it was well worth it and very special. I do not think there is another artist who can give the mic to the crowd for the 40 second rap breaks and have the entire stadium rap every single word on the beat. Just magic and once in a lifetime to be in a stadium full of people who have been living in these words and these songs for years. East is up, friends.
Thank you for reading! I greatly regret that I will most likely never be able to meet you in person and shake your hand, but perhaps we can virtually shake hands via my newsletter, social media, or a cup of coffee sent over the wire. They are poor substitutes, but they can be a real grace in this intractable world.
Send me a kind word or a cup of coffee: