September 2025 Update
“Much mighty speech-making there has been, both in and out of Parliament, concerning Tom [^1], and much wrathful disputation how Tom shall be got right. Whether he shall be put into the main road by constables, or by beadles, or by bell-ringing, or by force of figures, or by correct principles of taste, or by high church, or by low church, or by no church: whether he shall be set to splitting trusses of polemical straws with the crooked knife of his mind, or whether he shall be put to stonebreaking instead. In the midst of which dust and noise, there is but one thing perfectly clear, to wit, that Tom only may and can, or shall and will, be reclaimed according to somebody's theory but nobody's practice. And in the hopeful meantime, Tom goes to perdition head foremost in his old determined spirit.”
— From Bleak House, Chapter 46, by Charles Dickens, emphasis mine
Well, don't try that^ at home kids. In other news. I have been in something of a slump in my writing. I did finish the second draft of book two over the summer, but it has been hard to conjure the passion. I think part of it is due to querying. Facing so much rejection, and viewing my book as a product, makes it hard to write something fresh because when I look it over my first thought is how weird and unmarketable it is. Writing itself takes an entirely different skill-set; the joy of a creative sentence is a humble joy compared to the shiny potential of publishing; I am continually astonished how different the world of letters is from the world that sells them. Without publishing, however, one can't live on sentences alone, but my heart certainly lives for them. “I can't go on. I'll go on.” [^2]
Writing
Still querying. This month I plan to work on some polish edits for book two, and get drafting on an entirely different project. I think I will go back to the notebook and pen, because I can't resist opening the web browser whenever I sit in front of my computer.
Music
I have some songs to record. It's time for me to stop obsessing about guitar “tone,” and just record the songs. I have also been asked to be more of a worship leader at church, rather than just a guitarist, and it makes sense for me. So I am thinking and praying about what that will mean. I have certainly been using the guitar as a way to procrastinate from working on my singing and songwriting. I should try to think of myself more as a whole musician, rather than a guitarist.
Reading
Bleak House has been a lot of fun. Dickens is still not exactly my style, but I respect him, and I have been enjoying reading him. It is certainly not easy reading, but it has forced me to slow down and just enjoy reading for itself, rather than the self-respect it can give me for being “well read.” The quote at the beginning of the blog is a good example of finding joy and truth in a fun sentence. One thing, though. I would advise against writing like Dickens unless you think you're a genius, because he treats the English language with a bewildering belligerence. The astonishing thing is that he can keep it up for so many pages without repeating himself. In emulation, unless you are Dickens yourself, it will probably end up fatiguing the reader to the point of exhaustion. It's a bit like trying to play like Hendrix. Sure, you can borrow some ideas and sounds from Jimi, but don't try to be him, because you don't have his hands.
Anyway, I also read a book about Robert Johnson called Up Jumped the Devil that I highly recommend. I might do a short review/blog post about it because I think it is really essential to anyone who is a fan of blues/rock and roll. The myth of Robert Johnson selling his soul to the devil is so pervasive that it is astonishing to learn about his actual life, which hadn't really been thoroughly and accurately researched until 2019! It is incredible when you consider how influential Johnson has been to the blues, and by extension Rock and Roll, and by extension the rest of music. The obscurity is partly because he wasn't that famous in his life, because he died young, and because folklore can be so powerful, and because of discrimination. I'll save the rest for another post, but go listen to Crossroad Blues, and pay attention to the lyrics. There is not a single reference to the devil or a Faustian bargain. He is, in fact, crying out to God for mercy. It would be just like the devil, to jump on the myth of a man's life and take all the credit for God-given talent and inspiration.
Random Thoughts
Speaking of talent, I have been wondering about the relationship between the practice of art and how we perceive it. Specifically, I have been thinking about this in the context of worship music. Music and writing for me, has an element of playfulness, even when I take myself far too seriously. Music especially is fun, and defies any sort of rule system for doing it “the right way.” Yet when we listen or read, it is so easy to call something 'good' because we like it, or because everyone else does, or some accomplished and smart people do. It just feels like lying, as an artist, to get up and perform something I've created as serious and worth paying for because it feels more like fun than valuable work, even though it requires a great deal of dedication and work to create.
We should, absolutely, strive to pay artists a fair wage and take them seriously — And we should also not inflate their egos by calling them great. In the context of worship, and the idea of divine inspiration (or universal inspiration, if you prefer), I think it is important to remember that the attributes of playfulness and fun can also be found in nature. If you believe God created the universe, then you must admit that he is infinitely creative and has a sense of humor (just think of the platypus). And the more I try to create the more I believe that there is no “right” way other than the way of love: If the art is happy, let it bring a pure joy rather than a violent one. If it is sad, let it convict us with sorrow that motivates a change for hope, rather than despair.
Footnotes:
[1] Tom-all-Alone's is a slum in London where unfortunates and ne'er-do-wells end up, and usually come to a bad end. Dickens, in referring to “Tom,” is referring to the poor and unfortunate.
[2] Samuel Beckett, in The Unnameable
Thank you for reading! I greatly regret that I will most likely never be able to meet you in person and shake your hand, but perhaps we can virtually shake hands via my newsletter, social media, or a cup of coffee sent over the wire. They are poor substitutes, but they can be a real grace in this intractable world.
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